My Story

Hey all,

I know its been absolutely forever since I wrote a blog post. Like, before I left for Madrid last summer. But things have been crazy.

Anyway, last week at CRU I got to share my Jesus-story. I shared a very edited version of this document. For those of you who didn't attend or those of you who want the deeper story, here it is. Hope Jesus shows you something awesome through this.

Lorena

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I’m Loren Weaver. I’m a fourth year Civil Engineering major, and no, I’m not graduating in May. I’m going to tell you my story, and it’s pretty personal in nature. So I feel that we should get to know each other better.

I’m twenty years old and I have a sixteen year old sister and a six year old puppy. I lived in five states before I was 10 years old, but Georgia will always be “where I’m from.” I’m a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and a Master SCUBA diver. I love to read and have almost finished writing my second novel. I can’t whistle and can only wink with one eye. I never set my alarm for a round number, instead I set it for 8:03 or something like that. When I eat pizza, I don’t pick it up and bite it or cut it with a fork. Instead, I rip it with my fingers eat the pieces, which always leaves my fingers messy. When I was in high school, I was addicted to pornography.

My story isn’t all bright and happy-go-lucky. But it sure is chalk full of grace. That’s what I’m here to tell you about. Okay, so let’s just start off by jumping into the knitty-gritty details.

I was 14 the day my life changed forever. I can still remember it clearly. The day I became addicted to my own pet sin and my personal failure: pornography.

Over the course of the next two years, I was off and on the internet. I wouldn’t say I was high-needs because it happened maybe only once every few months. Yet, it was a problem, a sin, and it corrupted me.

I can still remember the day I went into my parent’s bedroom at about one or two in the morning, just bawling my eyes out. Crying so hard that I could not speak, even though my heart yearned for confession. I told them everything that night. I wasn’t yet 16 years old, but I couldn’t sleep at night because I knew that it was wrong. It was eating me, and I could not stand it anymore.

My parents did a lot for me. They password protected the computers and kept a close eye on me. For weeks, the internet was the bane of my existence and I hated it. For over a year, I  stayed away from the worst parts of my addiction.

But the most horrible thing about addiction? It never goes completely away. I was seventeen when it defeated me again.  This time, like with any addiction, was worse. I won’t go into the depths of my sin, because that is not the point of my confession.

For the next few years, I fought alone. I was too scared to tell my parents that it was happening again. Too stubborn, too prideful. I would get so angry with myself that I would find the strength to triumph for a while. Months would pass. Yet, the sin always cycled back around because it was too big for me alone.

Fall of my junior year of college, I realized what it was that I’d done wrong. I realized that I had been trying all these years to defeat this sin on my own power.  That when I’d “confess” to Jesus, that I really wasn’t heartfelt or always even sorry. That I thought that somehow, I’d grow strong enough on my own. That if I kept fighting, I was sure to win. It wasn’t true. 

Early last fall, I gave up everything that I was to God. I was on a abstinence streak that summer and reconnecting with Jesus in the fall at cru helped me discover my mistake. When things got bad, I had a base to turn back to. I could give this problem to the only One who conquers all.

That brings us pretty much to when things starting changing drastically for me. I’ve told you the horrible parts of my story, but now let me show you the amazing change that happened because of my amazing Jesus.

Last April, I can still remember, in vivid detail, spilling the basics of my story to someone outside my family. A friend of mine and I both had tests the next day and we’d been studying together that evening. Eventually, somehow, studying turned to talking and how my Jesus put us on this conversation track I don’t know. But I remember staring at a distant wall as I shared. And I remember the complete non-threatening environment. It was hard to share, and I was deathly scared that this knowledge would destroy our friendship. That has happened to me before. My confession didn’t kill our friendship, it strengthened it. That friend is one of the most important people in my life to this day. I began to see the healing power of my Jesus.

James 5:16, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

This summer, I studied abroad in Mexico City and Madrid. I was gone for about 10 weeks total. Away from friends, family, support. All the issues I’d dragged up in my confession at the end of the semester came rushing back and I struggled. Violently, I struggled. It seemed like every moment of silence was an attack on my thoughts. 

Over this summer and into the fall, I learned an important lesson. CONFESSION UNTO HEALING, like I mentioned from James. But also, I learned that sin isn’t always passive. There were times I’d thinking about what I’d seen, remember I shouldn’t, decide I didn’t care, and fall into the trap of sin. I’d come back later, horribly sorry yet guilty. I couldn’t be truly sorry for something I’d done on purpose, could I?

Yes. I could.

Romans 7:15-20, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.”

Sin isn’t always passive. Sin is an act of disobedience. And you know what? There is still confession unto healing!!

Let me tell you how powerfully this works! This summer, I heard the voice of Jesus. I heard Him. No, it wasn’t a booming voice from the sky. But I’m sure it was Him. I’ve gotten to hear His voice several times since then. I’m convinced it’s because there isn’t this looming sin between us.

So, I guess the reason I’m here telling you all this is two-fold. One, confession unto healing. When my sin is no longer in the dark, there can’t be any torment from the secret of it. Second, I want you to experience the same healing. I’m asking you to find someone to talk to if you have something you’re harboring. Maybe yours isn’t as “major” as mine. Maybe it even sounds dumb to you. It’s not. If it’s keeping you from Jesus, it’s not dumb or insignificant. You need confession. You need healing.

I promise you it only gets better. Now, if your pet sin is something humiliating, I understand. I’ve had a friend walk away from me, as in never speak to me again, after she knew. If that’s happened to you, I’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart, because that person missed out on the blessing that was you. Please don’t let that come between you and talking to someone else. If you don’t have someone you trust that much, come talk to me. You know that I’ll understand because its happened to me. If you don’t want to talk to me, but you don’t know anyone. I can gladly point you to several people that would talk to you, either students or staff. But please, don’t go home and fight alone.

The Prayer I Couldn't Pray

This may be silly, but I've been going through some crazy stuff. Most of it is stupid stuff, but that's referenced in the following story. I feel like I climbed a mountain in my faith in one afternoon. Let's begin...

I’m reading in Jeremiah. He’s taught me so much about talking to Jesus. Jeremiah hated his calling from Jesus. He hated the isolation, the negativity from others, the people trying to kill him. And, he told God that! That was okay. He didn’t complain to others, but he took it straight to Jesus. Yet, when it came right down to the wire, Jeremiah obeyed. Even when he didn’t want to or didn’t understand, he did what God called him to do. I’m learning how to spill my fears and rage to a God who listens, but yet to follow unconditionally.

After reading, I spent quite a bit of time talking to my Father. I started out pouring out my feelings to him and begun to see how so many of my feelings of isolation and helplessness are unfounded. He’s worked miracles in my life here and prepared a way for me, if only I have enough faith to walk it. I mean, Benja offered to go over the lectures with me so I could understand. This isn’t helplessness! I’m making friends, getting to know people better here. I have people at home keeping track of me. This isn’t isolation! So many of my deepest pains are so unjustified. They’re just tools of the Devil to separate me from a God that loves me more than I can imagine.

Then, I got to talking to Him about other stuff. Really, I had no idea how to pray. I didn’t know what to ask, how to give over my heart to my Jesus. But, as so often happens, it just poured from my lips and my fingers and flew straight to the ears of my Father. (I like to write my prayers, which is where the reference to fingers comes in). Heartfelt desires became ideas became words became desperate prayers. I cannot even describe the beauty of experiencing what Paul is experiencing in Romans 8:26 when he talks of the Holy Spirit making intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. I’m sure they were not my words that poured from my lips when I spoke with my Jesus. 

Romans 8:26, “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

And, of course, our Father used this time to teach me. I can't go into all the things I was talking to my Jesus about. But so you can understand the amazing lesson I learned, I can tell you that I was looking at suffering.

I realized about half way through that I could not ask our Father to take away suffering. To do that would be to lessen the amazing plan He has in store for His children. It would limit growth, and that’s not what I really want for any of my brothers or sisters or myself. I could not ask our Father for happiness or personal strength. Those really aren’t a part of the life of a true Christ-following child of God. 

I had to ask our Father for faith. I had to ask Him to give peace and joy. I had to ask Him to be strong in place of us and to be everything through the suffering we experience. Only through pain, by walking through the fire, can we become all that our Father knows we can be. He has such high hopes, such big plans.

How reassuring this was for me. For as I cannot justify asking our Father to take away  suffering and as I’m seeing how necessary that is, I came to be able to accept that this was true in my own heart. I came to be able to embrace completely the horribleness of the situation I am facing and realize that it’s not really as bad as I thought and that I’m going to become a more Christ-like Daughter of the King! How amazing a thought that is!

I can’t give words to the amazing peace that our Father gave to me through this realization. I can’t give voice to the joy dancing in my heart as I worship with all that I am. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not worried. I’m not happy, writing this is bringing the tears back to my eyes. But I’m content; and in the end, that is so much more fulfilling.

Psalm 30:12, "To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

I’m still praying with all my heart. No, I’m not praying for happiness. But I’m pleading with our Father for something greater, something He wants for you and for me: peace, joy, contentment. I’m asking, with no doubts at all, for His name to be made more glorious in our lives. I know He will be with us always and that we can have the courage to be weak enough to let Him be everything.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I can't even express to you the profound impact this has had on me today. I can't describe the complete peace that I feel now. I know that this comes only from my Father.

Philippians 4:11-13, "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

So I ask you this. Pray with me. But do not ask our Father for less suffering. Instead, embrace the suffering and allow our Father to do something great in you! Allow our Father free reign in your heart and in your life so that He can be your strength, your refuge, your strong tower. 

Psalm 62: 5-7, "My soul, wait silently for God alone,
         For my expectation is from Him.
 He only is my rock and my salvation;
         He is my defense;
         I shall not be moved.
 In God is my salvation and my glory;
         The rock of my strength,
         And my refuge, is in God."

Now, my dearest brothers and sister, I must go study. But I just wanted to share with you from a heart that was overflowing with love for my Abba Father. 

Los Primeros Dias en Madrid

Okay. So I left ATL at about 7pm on Monday night. I got on the plane and flew to Madrid. Most of it was at night. I spent most of the plane ride over here watching movies. Saw a couple good ones. It was an 8 hour flight… Somehow, it seemed way longer than the 13 hour one I took to China a few years ago. I guess it’s the lack of fun yet strange people to talk to during the flight. Ahh, oh well, it's over now. And it wasn't really that bad, just boring.

Then, I got stuck in the airport in Madrid for about three hours until the rest of my group showed up. I could check my email, at least until my computer died. I also read some and just chilled some.  This whole airport thing was just a tad bit freaky. I thought through what I’d have to say in Spanish to get the information I would need to reconnect with my group. That was encouraging because I knew most of the words or I could reword enough to get the point across. I didn't need them.

We got to the residencia and checked in. I'm rooming with Kristina, and that's been fun. I spent most of the  rest of Tuesday afternoon just kinda doing nothing. I didn't really want to sleep so I could adjust to the new time difference. I got to Skype with Momma, which was good.

Wednesday:

We had our first class. It was pretty easy, but I knew it would get more serious. Of course, it’s not supposed to be anywhere near as hard as Mexico. That would be nice... We did some orientation stuff. The accent here is weird and everyone talks really fast. It's going to take a LOT of adjusting.

After that, I talked to Jim via Skype which was great. I hadn't talked to him since he left for Japan, so it was much fun. Then I just hung around a bit. Slept for maybe 30 minutes or so. Then Ian came over and we figured out where things were for an excursion in the afternoon. We went and got cell phones to use while we’re here with a limited data plan. We thought it might be wise as we’re all traveling to different places and we’ll be visiting different cities. Plus, they weren't really that expensive...

We came back for dinner, which was fantastico! We (meaning me and Benja) got into a great conversation with some of the Cadiz students and Max, who didn’t do either program before this. It was fun to get to know new people and branch out of our little group. We went out for free ice cream after that and they came too! Mine was chocolate and probably the best chocolate ice cream I've ever had.

Well, after ice cream we went out to the store. Benja needed a power adapter so he can plug stuff into the walls. I needed a toothbrush, since somehow mine got left in ATL. When we came out of the store, our group had already left. So we wondered back. We actually got lost, and that was my favorite part of the evening. I got to really talk more in depth with Benja, which was fun. He’s such an adoring Christ-worshiper, it’s contagious. He also loves to have fun. When he gets to know you, he goes deep, quickly, and fearlessly. It’s made for some interesting yet fun conversations.

We got back to the dorm and headed to our rooms. I talked to Momma on Skype, but we had some of the internet issues. It was after midnight here, so we just gave up and I said bed time.

Thursday:

Second class. We got our smaller class groups. Mine is a class of 10, all girls! That was one of my favorite classes all summer. Why? Because it’s a class about the Spanish language, not a class on a related subject that just happens to be in Spanish. I’m at the level where I’m still discovering the coolness of the language. I learned so much that was actually useful. Now just to memorize it :). Of course, most of the others thought the class was slow or boring. But I’ve come to terms with that. I enjoyed it.

After a break, we had our second class. This was the killer. I felt like it was almost worse than being in Mexico my first week. I didn’t understand much of her lecture at all. Our teacher is Spanish and she’s talking about inmigracion. She talks faster than Benja when he’s excited. Plus, she has a weird accent that I’m not used to yet. I got maybe about a quarter of what she said. At least in Mexico, Doctora Galloway used power points so I could just read it when I was lost. Not here. It’s horrible.

Needless to say, I came out of that class so discouraged! I spent six weeks in Mexico learning to understand, and here I am on my first day of what’s supposed to be the easier program and I’m already lost. All the feelings of helplessness and stupidity came rushing back, even though I thought I’d given that all up to Jesus six weeks ago. I hate helpless, and that’s how I felt in that class. I have no idea of most of what she said.

Anyway, we came back and went to lunch. That didn’t help much cuz I was sitting with Benja, Daniel, and John (our TA) when they decided to talk to a Spanish native… I didn’t get much of that conversation either…

I headed back to the apartment, talked to Jim on Skype, took a siesta, and talked to Jesus. I learned a lot, but that gets it's own post ... :)

A Week At Home

A week at home isn't enough, but this one has been excellent.

It began on Sunday with my adventures trying to get home. I had some baggage issues in Mexico and ended up getting my carry-on suitcase checked as a second bag for free. I guess the lady liked me... or just took pity on a poor college girl traveling alone and trying to blunder along in Spanish.
Of course, I make it Texas only to find that my flight to ATL was cancelled. My opinion of the DFW airport isn't very high. Oh well, I made in on a flight two hours later. Finally got home just to find my bags were on the next flight, even though I'd specifically asked if they'd get on my flight... At least it was only about half an hour wait.
My first hugs from my family were simply heavenly. My sister even picked me up and swung me around in a circle, backpack and all! I love my family. And I was so happy to see them after so long away from home.
After we finally got all my stuff loaded into the car, we headed for Tech to pick up Jim. The sweet boy surprised me with homemade pizza (my requested first meal to my Momma a few days earlier). It was the yummiest thing I'd eaten in weeks, but that may be slightly biased. Only slightly. He got to come home with us to spend some time with me and the family.
Once home, I got to distribute gifts :). I love finding the perfect something for an amazing person in my life. I've got a few more to give still, but I got to see great big smiles from everyone as they opened up gifts. I didn't make it long after that, as it was already past 1am. I headed on to bed.

Monday morning dawned and I got up. Showered, and even took a long time! Hot water for a long shower... ahhhhhhh. By the time I got downstairs, Jim was already waiting. We teamed up and make waffles, which I sorely miss whenever I'm away from home. Fallon joined us and it was a fun time in the kitchen! So many of my fondest memories happen in the kitchen, it's probably one of my favorite rooms in the entire house. Yes, I know that's weird.
But we headed up to the lake after that. Country music blaring, warm summer day, headed to the lake with the family and boyfriend. Does life get better? I doubt it. Unless its when you actually head out of the cove on the boat with the tube or wakeboard trailing behind...
We met Tyler up at the lake and it was nice to finally put a face to the name I'd heard so much about. I enjoyed getting to know him some.
Yes, we did both :). I was such a happy girl! I doubt I stopped smiling for more than 30 seconds all day, unless it was to make faces of extreme stubbornness whenever Jim tried to knock me off the tube. Yes, I won and keep the title Queen of the Tube :). Of course, I do have a few years of practice on him. But he did great and learned fast. He even got up on the wake board for a bit! It made my Daddy laugh when he got to explain wake boarding in terms of physics and the very next time, Jim got up! Yeah, I'm dating an engineer :). Lucky me. Of course, my Father's a physics geek too, so he can't really complain.
We had some yummy US food for dinner too, which again made me happy. Especially the corn casserole that I love and pumpkin pie. MMHHHMMM!!!
Well, after our incredible day out on the lake, we headed to Fayetteville towards Jim's house. We had to stop by and pick up Jake, but we made good time. I didn't even fall asleep while driving, although I came closer than I like to admit. Loud music and bright lights kept me awake, as well as my own stubbornness (which is extensive).
We had Bible time with the Shealys and it was fun to get to see them again. I got to spend some time talking to everyone and thrilling them with stories of Mexico. That family is so unique and different from anyone I've ever known before, I love spending time down there!

Tuesday morning dawned and we went through Jim's usual morning routine of "what do I fix for breakfast...". That's quite funny, if I do say so myself. I was greatly amused. Especially after I'd so easily decided what I wanted the day before then recruited him to help fix it.
We spent the day getting his stuff packed and making sure he had everything he needed. We ran various errands so he'd be able to leave the next day. We even got to go to lunch at the restaurant where Allison works and say hi! I enjoyed that much more than the idea of US-influence Mexican, which was the other option. Yeah, I'd have gone and had fun, but I liked seeing Allison more :).
That afternoon, with him all packed, we sat down and watched Zorro. The poor boy had never seen it before. I had to fix this! :). Yeah, I'm a fan of Zorro. But then, what girl in her right mind doesn't like a mysterious hero dressed in black battling for the lives of a bunch of innocents he doesn't even know!
After that, we had dinner. More good conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Shealy as Jim ran around afterwards to complete a few last minute details then stick his stuff in the car. I've never failed to enjoy a conversation with Mr. Shealy, he loves to talk about such random things that I'm always on my toes and completely engrossed.
That evening, we headed over to Zach's. Zach is Jim's best friend from high school. And you can tell they're best friends and have been for years. I imagine its kind of what Laura and I would be like if we were guys... Zach and Allison (from the restaurant earlier) are engaged. Now you have some history :). We met up with them and a few others of their old high school group which are all very close and hung out for a while that night. It was fun to meet Jim's friends, if a little overwhelming. I enjoyed it tremendously.
By the time we got home, Jim told me I wasn't allowed to drive home. Okay, so he said it nicer, but he was right. I was exhausted and no up for an hour and a half drive down the interstate at night. So I just crashed in the guest room again.

It did give me the chance to say goodbye again Wednesday morning before heading home. I got home just in time to say goodbye to my Momma before she left for a day at work. I ran through the shower and then headed out again. This time, to Starbucks to meet LAURA BAZEMORE! Okay, that still a little strange yet awesome. We talked for a while. Neither of us had a lot of time, so I'm hoping for a Nashville trip in August :).
I left from there and headed to Conyers for an afternoon with Kelsey and Ben. Those two make me laugh every time. We played some wild games, talked a lot, ate Japanese food... Kelsey and I watched "The Princess Bride" in Spanish and painted our nails. Both were fun, and I even understood a good bit of the Spanish. I headed home about 10, after Kelsey repeatedly nudged me awake and told me I was exhausted.
I collapsed into bed that night.

Thursday morning, I slept in. Not a ton, but a little. I got up, had an IM interview at 9. Then left for a live interview at GT at 11. I don't think I'm taking either job, but I didn't know that then. I attempted to be productive the rest of the day, but I didn't succeed much. I was having post-school stress relief, no more adrenaline in my system, crash time. I mean MAJOR crash. I ended up taking an almost four hour nap when I meant to lay down for one. And I still went to bed early...

Friday morning, I slept in. We headed up to the lake that afternoon. We tried to go out on the boat Friday evening, but it starting raining and thundering. Lots of fun memories occurred from that! I love my family and I was so happy to get to spend some dedicated time with them! Well, when we got off the water and back to the trailer we found that we had no power. So into town for dinner, since we couldn't cook. The power was back on before we got back, so we stayed. Momma and I played on the computer in the living room until way too late... okay, so I had ulterior motives, but it was still really late.

Saturday morning: more sleeping in! Then a yummy breakfast where my family decided to randomly pull out the blueberries we've been thoroughly enjoying and eat them with our french toast. Fallon decided to see how many blueberries she could stack on my fork with one bite of toast... see?? Fun kitchen and family memories ;).
We spent most of the day out on the lake. I got to tube for a long time on the new tube with Momma. She loved it! It was so awesome to have that fun with her since she's been unable to do that for so long. I'm glad we found a tube she can enjoy with us. Of course, my sister is crazy too so that resulted in some funnies.
We came back that evening and just chilled. Momma sent me to bed about 9 since I couldn't keep my eyes open any more!

Sunday we had church. My parents both played in the orchestra! I'm glad I got to be home to hear that. I missed corporate worship. I missed studying His Word with my Christian family. I missed being surrounded by family. I missed church. I'm so glad I got to be home for a while and go.
We went out with the Prices for lunch. Atlanta Bread Company and a new kind of soup: Butternut Squash. I think I'm going to have to try to make that.
That afternoon, we rested some then we packed. Momma and I got almost all my stuff packed that afternoon and evening. For some reason, it wasn't as hard this time :). Maybe because I pretty much had everything already ready to go.
Then, Momma and I did nails ;). Mine are bright red! My favorite. We also watched some TV. Then bed for me!

Monday morning dawned and I got up. I slept badly, so it wasn't as much waking up as just finally getting out of bed. I had another interview! YAY!!! This one is with a tutoring place about 10 minutes from campus. I'd be doing maths mostly, but some physics-based science or Spanish maybe. I loved the environment and I enjoy students, so this could be a great fit!

After that, I came home. Ate lunch. Finished packing. Hung around the house. Then we left for Madrid! Of course, that's not at home anymore so you'll have to wait until the next post to hear about Spain stuff :).

Sontecomapan & la semana final

I must say that this rates as the single best weekend of 2011. Just does.

But, let's start at the beginning...
I wake up Thursday morning. Very nervous. Debate + trip, right? We talked for the better part of two hours, back and forth. Ben and Benja's opening remarks both went super long, but even after we got into the talking part we still went forever. We were debating the pros and cons of CELAC, which is sort of like a Central/South American version of the European Union.
The best part? I talked! My teacher LOVED it and told me at least 3 times that she was very impressed with me and my speaking. Which, after what I've been through with my speaking, was one of the best compliments I've gotten all trip. I know that a lot of my comfort level is due to hanging out with Drew, Ben, and Benja a lot over the past week or two. They randomly speak in Spanish quite a bit, and I had to pick it up or be lost the whole conversation. Plus, they really don't care if I stumble over my words. I think I've asked Benja "como se dice..." more times than I can count.

So, after the debate, we got on the bus for a 9 hour bus ride to SONTECOMAPAN! Which was awesome. The place, not the bus ride.
Although, we did have some fun on the bus ride. Played some serious Spades (which Ben and I rocked socks at), and some 500 (which we, again, won). I read some, slept a tad, talked, etc.

We finally arrive at like 8 that evening. We got to take a 20 minute boat ride out to the little island where we were staying for the weekend. I love the water. I love the peaceful bliss of boating over calm water with the wind in your face and the smell of salt in the air. Oh, sigh.
When we arrived and dumped our stuff, I immediately headed straight for a hammock. I love hammocks. We chilled in the hammocks until dinner was served. Ian, Ben, and Benja fit into one hammock, which was quite a funny sight, I might say.
We had fish tostadas for dinner, which were supper yummy. Of course, the usual batter involving hot salsa and wimpy mouths went around. Ben and Miguelito both love super duper hot stuff. I like a little spice, but not like they do. But the tostadas were good and had tomatoes and aguante on them. Yum!
After dinner, we watched a short video about Los Amigos, which is the place we were staying at. They're trying to promote reforestation of the area as well as sustainable water practices and recycling. Seeing the before and after pictures of the trees was so cool because it showed how well its really working.
Then, on to bed. It was almost 11 before we headed that way and we all knew we'd be getting up early!

Friday morning, we got up to head to yoga at 7:30. I enjoyed that. It was difficult and I realized that I'm not so very good at it. But my back really let loose for the first time in a long time. Some of the students didn't finish, but I'm semi-suicidal in that way. Never quit.
Breakfast was yummy. Started a tradition of a fruit appetizer before the main meal. Fruit for breakfast is a tradition that I think I must continue once I'm home. It's just yummy. We did have omelets of a kind to go with it.

Friday was an interesting day. After breakfast, we talked for a bit with the people that own Los Amigos and figured out our schedule for the week. Then we headed to LA PLAYA!
For those of you who don't understand Spanish and so have no idea why I just got excited, that would be THE BEACH!! I thoroughly enjoyed it. We spent a few hours out on the sand (la arenja) and in the ocean (el océano). I hung out with Ben and Benja as we explored the beach. Ben tried to surf on a log. Needless to say, it didn't work. Although it did lend itself to some heavy laughter from me and Benja. We also found some random jalapenos and limes on the beach. Ben and I tasted the jalapeno. He liked it, I didn't really.
More fun in the waves. A little in the sand (which was insanely hot!).
After we got back, Antonio took us on a tour. Of course, it was beautiful. That whole place is. We got lots, or at least separated from the group.  By "we" I mean me, Travis, Miguelito, Emily, Summer, Roxy, & Rebecca. I have no idea how I ended up with them (except that I was slow due to my love of picture taking) but it ended up being pretty fun.
Friday afternoon we had some free time to kinda chill. Of course, for me, chilling and fun aren't always the same thing. So we went kayaking through the mangroves. My idea of fun :). I double kayaked with Ian, which was quite the experience. But the mangroves remind me so much of childhood fun, since I kinda grew up in them. There were TONS of crabs too! Fascinating, even when they drop into your boat since you and your partner can't steer and end up crashing into branches :).

That night was the Temazcal. This is like an ancient steam room on steroids. It was probably the hottest hour and a half of my life, and I loved it. They started off with a ceremony where they "beat" us with a healing plant all over. Then we headed into the steamer room, which is basically a tarp-covered bamboo tent with a dirt floor and a hole in the middle for hot rocks and water. After we all got in, we "welcomed" the "abuelitos" or the rocks with chants in Spanish. Our guide, a Mexican Shaman, tossed water on the rocks, thus producing steam :).
We proceeded to spent over an hour in that steaminess as we went through more Spanish songs and chants and supplications for purity and healing. All in all, a very unique and cleansing experience. I thoroughly enjoyed the Spanish chants too!
After we got out, we came down the mountain and jumped in the ocean! Much cooler and very refreshing. We went on to dinner after that, even though it was almost 9 by this point!

Saturday: The day of holey kayaks...
So, we got up early Saturday morning to head out in our kayaks to see the sun rise. By "we", I mean me, Ben, y Benja. Once we got out there, Ben and I decided to beach our kayaks and watch from the ocean so we could take pictures. Benja wanted to go out farther...
Great idea... until his kayak turned out to have a hole in it! So, we did see the sunrise over the lake... then proceeded to spend over an hour trying to drain Benja's kayak and get it back around the peninsula and into calmer waters so he could paddle it back to the ranch.
After all that, we still made it back to the hacienda in time for breakfast! Yay! After breakfast, we headed up the mountain once again for another Mexica ritual: a dance. Basically, you brought a blindfold, covered your eyes, and danced to old-style Latino music to your to your heart's content. Since no one could see the others, I'm sure the dances got pretty wild. I know mine did :). I loved this music and this time of movement that connected me back with myself. The movement was all about emotion and the beat. For me, dance is feeling. Dance is emotion. Dance is balance. Dance is connection. I loved it.

After dancing, we came down for a lecture by Antonio on Bioarcetectura. Or Green Architecture, in English colloquialism. Although I didn't understand everything, I was fascinated by this lecture since its exactly what I'm going into. I want to practice bioacretectura and permacultura in Latin America. Of course, God may yet have a different plan. But I like this one.

Lunch then more free time. We played some cards, then decided to have another kayak adventure. Of course, we left the holey kayak at home ... or so we thought...
We (meaning me, Ben, and Benja) kayaked through the mangroves. Drew, Migelito, and Doctora followed us for a while in the larger row boat, but they couldn't go as deep into the mangroves because their boat was bigger. But we went in as far as we could. Of course, the guys wanted to get out at one point. I sunk in mud up to my knees. It was great.
They went off into the woods to experience nature's finer qualities *cough cough*... I decided to be brilliant and see if I could balance in the kayak while standing. Needless to say, I couldn't. And as my yelp and a giant splash sound through the woods, the guys come hurrying back already laughing because by this point in the trip, they know me well enough to guess what happened...
After that, we headed back to the ranch to pick up Drew, who wanted to go to the other side of the lake and climb on the mangroves. Of course, another group was out kayaking too... so there wasn't an extra kayak... so (yes, it was my brilliant idea) we decided that I'd hold onto the back of one of they guy's boats and swim across... Much fun... much exhaustion...
We climbed around there for a bit. I managed to get to the back without stepping in the mud too much because I didn’t have shoes due to swimming across. Of course, my momma used to tease that I was half monkey, so that wasn’t a hardship for me :).

We came back to the Ranch and decided to try again to kayak out to the ocean and play in the waves. Thankfully, there was an extra kayak by this time, so I got my own as we paddled out into the deep recesses of the ocean…. *cue theatric music*
Anyway, we got out there, started playing the waves... and what should happen? A giant wave crashing over the kayak that I'm losing control of... and I fall in. Thankfully, getting back into the kayak wasn't that big of an issue. It was, of course, full of water. After an excruciating journey to the beach, we dump it out. And what should we find, my dear reader?
Yes, you guessed it... a hole. Yay. Of course, Benja's new kayak had one too, so I wasn't alone. We pretty much figured that all the kayaks of that kind were holey. But we dumped it and tried to start around the island again. Needless to say, I ended up in the water three or four more times. I got really good at getting back in the boat...
Finally, I gave up and just started walking the kayak around the peninsula to get to calmer waters. What should happen next, for of course this would be no fitting end to this tale?! Yes, my dear readers, una medusa. Or, in English, a jellyfish.
I was stung on the knee. It's true. My cry echoed out over the waters to bring help... okay, dramatic. But I did groan some and let Ben and Benja take the kayak as soon as they got there. That HURT! Ben and Benja switched out kayaks so that I was in the plastic one and the only one without a hole. We paddled our exhausted bodies and full kayaks back to the ranch. That took over 20 minutes.
The whole time, my knee screamed. I think the venom or whatever a jellyfish has spread, cuz my whole knee and half my leg was going numb by the time I got back.
Some vinegar, a shower, and some rest later, I was okay. Yeah, it hurt for several days, but I was walking and back to my old, perky self. Yay!
So, moral of this story? Holey kayaks = bad. Una medusa = cool name but BAD. :)

That evening, after our adventure, things seemed strangely tame... We had dinner and ended up sitting around talking forever. Antonio gave us a slide show lecture, explaining more about reforestation and stuff. Eventually, we all headed to bed out of exhaustion ... and it was only 11pm...

Sunday: a return to DF
That morning, we got up for breakfast then headed back across the water via boat to get back to our bus. I love the water. The bus ride was 9 hours long. We did stop in a small town where Ben, Benja, and I managed to negotiate a dude out of three hammocks for a great price! We also stopped for lunch, but strangely none of us were very hungry.
We didn't get back in until almost 11 that night.

Monday and Tuesday:
Doctora cancelled class for us, so we spent these days working on our debates and projects. Not a whole lot to say about it, except that we worked. I'm glad we didn't have class or we would have gotten practically no sleep at all that week.

Wednesday:
Debates! Yay! Okay, so actually it was kinda terrifying. But I got into it after a while. My group had Transgenic Seeds, and I sure learned a whole lot. We talked for the better part of two hours, but it was all good. The other team had already had their debate about TLCAN.
That afternoon, we spent more time working on projects and studying for a test the next day.

Thursday:

Our last test in the morning. Both easier and harder in some ways than the others.

Then off to Rebecca's house to finish our project. We worked on it for most of the evening. That evening, we also went on the Touribus, but it was late so we didn't get to spend much time on it. Oh well.

Friday:

We showed our commercials! I'll have to post a link soon so everyone can see mine.

I didn't do a whole lot that afternoon. Took a nap, worked on some non-Mexico related stuff.

That evening, we had our farewell dinner. We showed our commercials to our families and had a huge dinner. All the host families came and ate with us. I got to talk to quite a few fun people and I loved it! Such awesome conversations.

After we left there, we went to Emilie's for her birthday celebration. That got wild, but I had fun. I didn't go out to the club with them afterwards, which I'm thankful for.

Saturday:

We spent Saturday shopping and hanging out. We took the Touribus again, and this time got the 3 hour version. I spent all day out with the others just having fun on our last day together in Mexico. Finished finding all the gifts I wanted and stuff. We ended the day with coffee and smoothies about midnight. :)

Sunday:

COME HOME!!! :) And man, was I ever glad for that!