A Castle & A Princess

 So, today we visited El Castillo de Chapultepec.It was beautiful. And HUGE! The Emperor Maximilian from Austria via France lived here when Bonaparte invaded Mexico and set up an empire in the name of France.
After the Revolution in Mexico, one of the presidents lived here: Porfinio Diaz. The place is huge. It has several floors and literally hundreds of rooms. It's got a garden on the roof and splendid balconies off every side. Stain glass windows. Elevators with seats in them. Grand staircases. Murals that covered entire rooms.
I have no idea what they used all that room for, but it sure was pretty. There was even a tower in the gardens on top of the roof. This is a picture of it. We couldn't go inside :(. But it was still great to look at and wish we could explore.
We toured the entire place and it took several hours. Like 3, that's how big it was. We got some fun photos. As always, more pictures are on Facebook. The link is here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150185503615044.300933.665665043.

After our three or more hour tour of the palace, we went to lunch. I got to sit with Ben, Travis, and Phelps. Great time getting to know those guys better. I'm loving how we always mix it up and so we get to know more people better every day. It's been less than two weeks and we're already much closer. Wonder what it's going to be like at the end of the six weeks? Then a lot of them are going to Madrid too!

Oh, this picture is of all of us in front of the monument to Los Ninos Heroes. I'm not quite sure of their story yet, we haven't learned it. I'll let you know when I figure it out. For now, its just a great picture to acquaint you with all the amazing people I'm getting to know this trip. There are 13 students and 3 TAs plus Dra. Galloway. I know them all and can't wait to keep learning more. Man, I can't even express how awesome it is to be growing closer. If it weren't for the new friends I'd made, I'd never survive this trip.

Anyway. One last picture. This one is of me on one of the many balconies that overlook the forest surrounding the palace. I like it a lot.

One last thing. I'm exhausted. Physically and emotionally, but I had a thought I wanted to share.
The Castle, or Palace as it were, made me think a lot. So, I shall share.

I'm stuck on this Daughter of the King idea. You know, the whole Palace thing. Plus the Mulan songs that Ben and Travis were singing and the ensuing conversation. I hate the whole flighty, brainless, helpless, "oh save me!" Disney Princess ideal. That's why I loved Mulan so much. Yes, she still needed her Knight in Shining Armor to help her win the big battle, but she was a major part of that. He wouldn't have been able to defeat the bad guy without her.

We're called, as Daughters of the One True King, to be active in the battle for the world. Ephesians 1:3-14 ensures us that we are children of God. We have been adopted into the family and given a part of the inheritance of God the Father along with Jesus Christ! What an amazing thought all on its own! To be called, truly, children of God. To honestly have a part of the inheritance with Jesus Christ! To be that special to our Father, how amazing!

Yet, we're not called to be brainless, flighty, or to stand away from the battle. Ephesians goes on to tell us about the armor of God. Ephesians 6:10-20. God tells us exactly how the battle should be fought. Exactly what to use as our shield. Exactly where our sword can be found. Exactly how to FIGHT.

Just a thought :)

Philosophy in Salsa

So, it's been a pretty crazy week! Two tests... One was three hours, but the second only took me 1.5. Still, quite a bit of studying. It's been pretty tense around here lately... I'm so tired of studying! Thankfully, we have a small homework assignment for today. But then we don't have anything due until next week. So I'll have the weekend to work on some stuff.

But, more interestingly. SALSA!!
As you probably have figured out by now, I LOVE DANCING!
We had a salsa lesson last night. An hour and a half lesson on the basic stuff. It was pretty awesome and I was exhausted afterwards. Salsa is very up beat and you're always moving. We didn't get into a lot of the partner stuff, but I learned a whole lot. If I dance in the US, I'm gonna have to relearn the names for everything. This is Mexico, and they call moves in Spanish!
Some of the others picked it up really well too. It was fun to get to learn together. Ben learned really fast. It was really cool. We had a long conversation with Kristina about dancing. Which, by the way, I love (in case you missed it before). I so can't wait to go back and learn some more. I want to make the moves more natural and use less brain power on the footwork. It's a lot harder to learn cool stuff if you have to think about your footwork. When the footwork is natural, you become a much better dancer. I've learned that one through swing.
*sigh*
Now I wish I were on the dance floor again. Nothing can be wrong when you're twirling and sashaying across a hardwood floor. For that moment, everything outside the room is just background noise and doesn't really exist. I think this is one of the reasons I love dancing. It's so freeing because there is only the moment, only your partner (if you have one), only the moves. Life becomes about moving to the music and letting go of everything else.
For me, dancing is free expression and logical without thought. Dancing involves your body, brain, and soul. It's about matching you to the music and your partner. It's about two people moving together as one unit and showcasing the skill of the other. It's about passion and freedom. "Dancing is Life," is how Mr. D says it in Take The Lead, which is a movie I love.

Okay, enough philosophy of dance. After salsa, we came home. We had an impromptu review session during our walk. Thank you, Drew. He walked us home and we had some fun conversations around the review stuff. Then, I stayed up way too late. But it was all good.
This morning, I went into school early and we had another "review session" but it wasn't super formal. Then the test. Then I came home and took an hour long siesta. I feel SO much better now! Amazing what a little sleep can do for the body. Now, I have some work to do tonight. But not too much. 

I want to go dancing again... :)

La Cucaracha y La Universidad

Hola!!

So, I updated yesterday's blog. I realized that I hadn't at all done it justice, so tried again. Its not much extra, but some. So, if you're inclined, you can read the new parts.

Anyway! I have to start off this post with an explanation of why its title talks about a cockroach. I had a total God-moment last night involving a cockroach.

The Cockroach Story
Last night I was getting ready to go to bed when I noticed a cockroach on the wall of my room. Now, I can handle bugs of all kinds, even spiders. But NOT cockroaches. I have no idea what it is. I don't freak, per se. But I just can't stand the things. It's a phobia. An unreasonable fear without logic.
So, I tried to get rid of the cockroach by catching it in a Kleenex and stomping on it. I didn't want to squish its guts everywhere, but I didn't want to touch it either. It wasn't working. I smacked it once, but mostly missed. It scurried under the dresser. It came back out a few minutes later and I whacked it good. But it scurried under the other bed and I lost it for the evening.
Well, total God moment here. Jim has told me, often, when I panicked about Mexico, again often, to just give it up to God. And I'd tried. I'd told Him how much I felt inadequate and almost worthless. I'd told Him how I was struggling to make the words come, how I was struggling with the people, and how He was just going to have to make things work because I sure couldn't. But what I didn't confess? My fear. I didn't realize how much of my problems in Spanish were from fear.
I had a phobia of the language, of not being able to speak it, of what others would think. So much of my anxiety was wrapped up in my fear. My phobia. Unreasonable fear not based in logic.
So, last night at way too late, I gave up my phobia to Jesus. I let Him have all the fear I contained because I know He is stronger. He is greater. And, with Him, there is nothing for me to fear.
Guess what? I woke up this morning to a dead cockroach. I guess I whacked it pretty good :). Or maybe God just needed something tangible to teach me about the intangible.

La Universidad
This morning, classes started! School started at 8:30, but Drew got lost. So we got there about 8:40. No biggie though, a lot of us were late. First day in a strange city will do that to you. We learned a lot. I was worried that 6 hours of class would be hard. I have trouble with 1.5 hour classes at Tech! But it wasn't. I looked down at my watch, expecting to be like half an hour in, and it was already 2 hours later. Doctora Galloway is a great teacher and I can understand most of her Spanish. My speaking still needs help, but I felt like I understood a lot more than I did yesterday.
We went for lunch after class. Kristina and I went out together and ate. I didn't really like lunch, but I loved the apple juice which is nothing like it is in the States. Much apple-ier. We had a nice conversation. It was great to get to know more about her.
Then we went to go get cell phones. Long walk, but more fun time to talk to people. I'm so enjoying all my new friends here. I'm fitting in better today than yesterday, and actually enjoying myself. I'm so introverted that this is hard for me, even if I don't show it. But I'm doing okay. God is so good!
While we were waiting for phones (which is a long process when you're trying to get like 19 of them), I had a long conversation with Travis and Kristina about church and Jesus. That was awesome. It's great to find people with a common background and be able to talk about it. So refreshing to be able to do Jesus-talk in Mexico.

En Otras Palabras
Oh, and my presentation was moved to tomorrow. Thank you everyone that's been praying for me! I appreciate it, and please don't stop! God is working great things today, and I know He'll continue. I've got to go work on that presentation some more. We're going out tonight. No idea what we're going to do, but I hear alcohol may be involved. If that's the case, I may see if I can find an ice cream shop or something. Getting drunk in Mexico sounds like a horrible idea. But I'll find something interesting to do. And no, I won't walk around by myself.

Hasta luego, mis amigos!
Lorena

Who's The Boss, Chica?

So, if Jesus had a Hispanic accent, this is what He'd be saying to me right now. And I'd be nodding sheepishly with bright red cheeks as He reminded me, gently of course, of something He's taught me so many times in the past.

Yes, Jesucristo, You're the boss.

So, as most of you will have heard by now. Mexico is a go. Nothing much changed through my panic: "What if I can't go? What will I do then? What's He gonna do through this? Why, Jesus, why?!"
But I know, now even more than yesterday, that He is in control. So many of my friends reminded me yesterday of that simple fact. There is nothing I can do to change His plan. It's not in my control. He works out all things for the good of those that love Him. No man by worrying can add a cubit to his height.
So all my tears, my stress, my jittery heart, my worry, my panic. None of it did any good. It only made things worse from my end. But I did have to continually talk to Jesus, to give over my fear and worry. To rest wholeheartedly in His promise of comfort and sustenance. Jesus, my rock and my salvation, my strong tower, in what shall I fear?

Get the point now?
Yeah, for now...

And I know that I will struggle with this again. I know it. And I'm scared. But I will manage. I'm off to Mexico this weekend.

Speaking of Mexico...
Things are going crazy. I'm stressed about that too. But Jesus is bigger (see previous lesson ;) ). I've already got homework to do. Oh joy. I'm gonna be working through the plane rides, I think. I doubt either tonight or tomorrow night will be heavy on the sleeping. Working is more important.
Somehow, I'll pull through. Jesus sustains. Worrying doesn't do an ounce of good while doing pounds of harm. If my God wants me there, He'll make my paths straight. I must rely on Him and do my best to manage what He gives me. He is the source of joy and comfort and peace.
I believe that.

So...
¡Te echaré de menos! (I will miss you!) y ¡Te quiero! (I love you!)

~Loren

Another Bout with Philippians

Well, its time for more thoughts from Philippians, since I can't seem to stop it from running through my head. I started quoting from it earlier without looking :). Memorization is coming ... slowly.
So, thought. Oh! And the link last time didn't seem to work. So the verses are at the end of the post for your reference throughout my monologue.

Let's dig in :).
Paul starts out with confidence. For I KNOW what will happen. That all this will turn out the way he expects and hopes. But see, its through prayer and the Spirit. I'm getting the impression that Paul thought this whole praying thing was pretty important.
Now, check out what it is he expects and hopes: that Christ be magnified in his body! That in nothing would be be ashamed of Christ. That he would be bold for Christ. Pretty self-less ideals, si?

Then comes another frequently-quoted verse. To live is Christ and to die is gain. It's quoted so often because its so powerful! To live IS Christ. It isn't living for Christ. Or even allowing Christ to live through you. To live IS Christ.
Since I'm a math geek... it goes like this:
     Life = Christ
NOT like this:
    Life > Christ
    Life < Christ
    Life ~ Christ
    | Life | = Christ
See what I mean?
Christ is all. Everything. Our positives and negatives. Our flaws and our strengths. It's all His. To live IS Christ.

And to die? Well, that's just pure gain. If living is Christ, then death is more than that! Like this:
     Death = Christ + constant fellowship with God + worshiping God forever + new, perfect bodies
What's not to love about that?! Yippee! I really can't wait. Not that I'm in a hurry to get there, and neither was Paul (see vs 25). But death stops being quite so scary when you think about it like that. Even when Paul is convinced that he will live, suffer, and preach boldly the name of Christ, death is still gain.

So then Paul points out how if this is true, then our conduct should be worthy of this. If our life = Christ, then what does that mean our life come out to be? They have to balance. Life - Christ now equals 0.
But Paul explains that too. Let your conduct be worthy of the Gospel of Christ. SO THAT: you stand fast in one spirit with one mind striving together for the faith of the Gospel and not scared in the tiniest bit by our enemies. He says that salvation is from God, and that is a slap in the face of the enemies.
Dude, yes! I'm so there!

And yet, the last two verses seem to me to be a deflation of the adrenaline rush Paul's just finished evoking. I'm pumped because living = Christ and death is only a plus...
And then Paul goes and says: wait, you'll believe and you'll suffer.
I find it interesting that he doesn't say you'll suffer because you believe. He just stated them both as facts. You believe. You suffer. See, this goes back to the whole Life = Christ thing. If that's true, the belief didn't really cause the suffering, as we so often think. The world hates us because it first hated Christ. In reality, they don't hate us. They hate Christ. But since Life = Christ ......
See the point? Don't stop believing because it's causing suffering. Don't even sigh a deep breath of frustration because you can't just stop believing because that would make you a horrible Christian but you're so sick and tired of all this crap.
Nope. Life = Christ. Remember that. It makes everything better and worse at the same time.

And at the end. Death = Christ +
That's always a comforting thought.

Keep the faith with joy, my brethren.
~Loren




Philippians 1:19-30
"¹⁹ For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, ²⁰ according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ²² But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. ²³ For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. ²⁴ Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. ²⁵ And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith, ²⁶ that your rejoicing for me may be more abundant in Jesus Christ by my coming to you again.²⁷ Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, ²⁸ and not in any way terrified by your adversaries, which is to them a proof of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that from God. ²⁹ For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, ³⁰ having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear is in me."

He said "Go"

After my second college graduation, I hope to move to Latin America to practice. I know you've heard me say this so many times, but I think I've almost been trying to reassure myself more than inform you. I think I've been questioning myself and my calling. I always do that.
Especially when others doubt me. When my friends say "Oh, that sounds dangerous." Or "Your parents will never let you do that." Or "You don't want to raise your kids in a different country." Reasonable doubt, to be sure. But I'm not sure reason has everything to do with the question.

My point here requires some background. So here goes. Genesis 12:1-4:
The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to teh land I will show you.
     "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you;
     I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.
     I will bless those you bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse;
     and all the peoples on earth will be blessed through you."
So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran.

Wow. So, here's my thoughts on this reasonable doubt.

When Abram was 75 (75!!! not 17, not 25... 75!!!), God called him to go. To leave everything he knew and go. Because of Abram's great faith (and we know he was seeking God at this point), God asked great things from him; but because of his great obediance, God gave great blessing.
God didn't tell Abram the specifics, He just said "Go." God didn't say where he'd end up, He just said "Go." God didn't tell Abram why or what he'd be doing when he got to this unknown place, He just said "Go." Abram didn't know if he'd be safe or if his wife or nephew would be safe, but God said "Go." Abram didn't know if he'd be fed, have a job, find a place to live, but God said "Go." Abram didn't know what his kids would experience or how they'd grow up or what this new as-yet unknown culture would teach them, but God said "Go." Abram didn't know if he'd ever be back or if he'd simply be traveling forever, but God said "Go."
If God says "Go," who am I to question? Who was Abram? Who am I to refuse such a call? Who am I to demand answers? Who am I to argue?
But God always provides. Yes, He does! Will I question? Yes. Will I doubt? Often. Will I wonder if God really knows what He's doing? Oh, yeah. Will I want to change the plan to help things move along? More than once. Will I worry about my family in this strange place? Of course. Will I miss my family and friends from home? Daily. Will I cry out in desperate fear of the unknown? I already have.
But God simply said "Go."
To His command, I may ask "Where next?" I may ask "Am I to go now?" I may even ask "Why?"
But the answer, as I already know: "Why? For My glory, of course. Go."

As my mother tells everyone who asks her "Why are you willing to let your baby girl move so far away?" Becasue God said so. And if God's chosen path for my life leads me down dark allies, then I may only lift His light higher and walk with confidance.
As God tells Job:
"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone-
while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? ...
Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
that it might take the earth be the edges
and shake the wicked out of it? ...
Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? ...
Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!"
(parts of Job 39 & 40)

And I, like Job, can only reply:
"I am unworthy-how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
I spoke once, but I have no answer-
twice, but I will say no more. ...
I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.
You asked 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
You said, 'Listen now, and i will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.'
My ears had heard you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
(Job 40:4-5; 42:2-6)

So, why am I going? The simple answer: Because God said so.

A refuge in Crazyland

Yes, Crazyland sounds good right about now.

Why? Oh, it might have something to do with the four homework assignments I have due this week, the two projects to work on, a dinner to plan, two dances to go to, and all the classes still to make. I'm not complaining about most of it, but it does make for a little bit of a hectic schedule.

Of course, I'm not sure what I'd do with a less hectic schedule. Might this say something about my life? I go crazy with a hectic schedule, but without one I'd go stark raving mad from boredom. Do we ever learn to be content with what's in our life, or are we always trying to add to it, complain about what's already in it, and take away from it?

Maybe, when I'm old and gray, I'll know the answer. Maybe I'll have lived to see so many hectic days that I'll realize why we put ourselves through this madness. Maybe.

But until then, I take pleasure where I can find it, sleep at night when I must, and try to make the best of it. I look forward to the future and know that in the distant "someday," all my toils will mean something to someone. When I've graduated, worked, and become a stable person, I might even look back on the variety of my Tech days with longing.

Won't that be weird?

But I think I've hit on something here, and its something I've been thinking about recently. I mean, someday I'll be a stable person with a job, a house, bills to pay and maybe even a family to adore. My life will be confined, set into its nitch, nevermore to move. I mean, there will be changes, but most of them will be the slow evolution of years that creep along to change my circumstances so gradually I won't even notice.

For now, though, my life is a constant change. New classes each semester, new homework every week. New friends, new places, new challenges. Everything is new and different and you never know if tomorrow, it will all be the same or if it will be even more different yet. So many life changing decisions happen in the blink of an eye. We try to plan our future in four years, try to cram as much knowlege in our heads as possible.

And I wonder if sometimes we miss the joy of life because of the craziness. I mean, the rest of my career could be the better part of forty years. And yet, I want to plan it in four? The rest of my life could be the better part of fifty-five years, and I want to know how it will turn out right now?

Of course, this talk of worrying about the future inevitably leads to Jesus' discussion about the sparrow. How we should not worry about tomorrow, for day's cares are burden enough. For if God cares enough about the sparrow to feed it every day, how much more does He not care about us?

Saying it like that, it sounds so simple. I throw my hands up, step back, take a deep breath, and realize that God's got it. Like that song my sister sings.
I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Sayin aye-oh
Gotta let go.

How very true. But we never do. We never just let go, because we MUST decide the rest of our lives RIGHT NOW! Isn't that was college is about? Maybe so, but not really.

Of course, the polluted version of the song goes:
I throw my homework in the air sometimes
Saying aye-oh
I'll take a zero.

And that doesn't really work either. I'm not sure I believe the old adage about "God helps those who help themselves," but its partially true. We're not to be lazy creatures just trusting that "God will provide." Well, yes, He will. But He's so not into the lazybum. After all, one of the seven deadly sins is sloth.

So we walk the proverbial knife's edge. Too much worry is a bad thing, but too much laziness is as well. How to balance between the two is a fine line we walk every day. How grateful I am that the Lord of Heaven and Earth is here to guide me! How thankful I am that the Helper has come to me, to be with me and guide me.

And I had no idea that this was what would come flowing out of me when I sat down to blog a little. Praise to the Giver of Great Gifts! And thank you Jesus for my talent. For this small haven from stress, if only for a little while.  Isn't our God so good?

I'm off to work on those many homework assignments. I'll be back later. I'd love to hear what you think about some of this.

Life Lessons from Marial Arts

So, I think I'm too philisophical for my own good sometimes.  See, I've been doing way too many metaphors in my head using my martial arts training.

First, my instructor in Taido was talking about open and closed stances. He didn't really get why they're called that. An open stance is when your chests are facing the same way. A closed stance is when your chests are facing opposite ways. To me, it's simple. I see them like doors, open and closed.

But I got to thinking. An open stance is a power stance. You use it to really wail on someone. A closed stance is a defensive stance used to set up something to do later, usually from an open stance.

So here's the life lesson part. How often are we in open stances in life? Do we go up to people, put our best foot forward and just go for it. When we're listening to people we like, we tend to have our chests facing the same directions. I mean, we lean against the wall and face the same direction. We sit together, facing the same direction. We're friendly.

On the other hand, in a closed stance, we're defensive. We're shut away from the person we're interacting with. We're there in body, but not spirit. The person really gets a feeling of tension and defensiveness. Our interation is limited by our body's posture.

Just like in martial arts, an open stance in relationships is powerful. In martial arts, you can use your whole body on the attack, swinging your hips and really getting power into your blows.  In life, you can really knock the socks off someone just because they felt like you really cared about what they had to say. It works, but don't trust me. Try it.

But when we go into a closed stance, we lose the power. We're all defensive, and no fight was ever won by retreating. The best defense is a good offense. You know all the sayings. But have you ever thought about how your body posture conveys your enthusiasm for the subject at hand? Are you, with your body, telling the other person that you don't really want to be here and are only here until you can escape?

In martial arts, there's a time and a place for closed stances. But in life, why are we closing off the very people that might someday be the biggest blessings we've ever gotten? Do you think Jesus stood apart from people, or did he approach. Well, just read the Bible and that question's answered. But I'm thinking that the simple stuff can sometimes have a huge effect.

So, here's the question of the day...
Are you approaching life in an open or closed stance?