A refuge in Crazyland

Yes, Crazyland sounds good right about now.

Why? Oh, it might have something to do with the four homework assignments I have due this week, the two projects to work on, a dinner to plan, two dances to go to, and all the classes still to make. I'm not complaining about most of it, but it does make for a little bit of a hectic schedule.

Of course, I'm not sure what I'd do with a less hectic schedule. Might this say something about my life? I go crazy with a hectic schedule, but without one I'd go stark raving mad from boredom. Do we ever learn to be content with what's in our life, or are we always trying to add to it, complain about what's already in it, and take away from it?

Maybe, when I'm old and gray, I'll know the answer. Maybe I'll have lived to see so many hectic days that I'll realize why we put ourselves through this madness. Maybe.

But until then, I take pleasure where I can find it, sleep at night when I must, and try to make the best of it. I look forward to the future and know that in the distant "someday," all my toils will mean something to someone. When I've graduated, worked, and become a stable person, I might even look back on the variety of my Tech days with longing.

Won't that be weird?

But I think I've hit on something here, and its something I've been thinking about recently. I mean, someday I'll be a stable person with a job, a house, bills to pay and maybe even a family to adore. My life will be confined, set into its nitch, nevermore to move. I mean, there will be changes, but most of them will be the slow evolution of years that creep along to change my circumstances so gradually I won't even notice.

For now, though, my life is a constant change. New classes each semester, new homework every week. New friends, new places, new challenges. Everything is new and different and you never know if tomorrow, it will all be the same or if it will be even more different yet. So many life changing decisions happen in the blink of an eye. We try to plan our future in four years, try to cram as much knowlege in our heads as possible.

And I wonder if sometimes we miss the joy of life because of the craziness. I mean, the rest of my career could be the better part of forty years. And yet, I want to plan it in four? The rest of my life could be the better part of fifty-five years, and I want to know how it will turn out right now?

Of course, this talk of worrying about the future inevitably leads to Jesus' discussion about the sparrow. How we should not worry about tomorrow, for day's cares are burden enough. For if God cares enough about the sparrow to feed it every day, how much more does He not care about us?

Saying it like that, it sounds so simple. I throw my hands up, step back, take a deep breath, and realize that God's got it. Like that song my sister sings.
I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Sayin aye-oh
Gotta let go.

How very true. But we never do. We never just let go, because we MUST decide the rest of our lives RIGHT NOW! Isn't that was college is about? Maybe so, but not really.

Of course, the polluted version of the song goes:
I throw my homework in the air sometimes
Saying aye-oh
I'll take a zero.

And that doesn't really work either. I'm not sure I believe the old adage about "God helps those who help themselves," but its partially true. We're not to be lazy creatures just trusting that "God will provide." Well, yes, He will. But He's so not into the lazybum. After all, one of the seven deadly sins is sloth.

So we walk the proverbial knife's edge. Too much worry is a bad thing, but too much laziness is as well. How to balance between the two is a fine line we walk every day. How grateful I am that the Lord of Heaven and Earth is here to guide me! How thankful I am that the Helper has come to me, to be with me and guide me.

And I had no idea that this was what would come flowing out of me when I sat down to blog a little. Praise to the Giver of Great Gifts! And thank you Jesus for my talent. For this small haven from stress, if only for a little while.  Isn't our God so good?

I'm off to work on those many homework assignments. I'll be back later. I'd love to hear what you think about some of this.