I'm at a total loss here. Dear Jesus, only You sustain.
My Mexico LBAT program is under consideration for cancellation. There's political and gang unrest in Mexico right now and things have gotten worse in the last month, I think. I'm trying to figure out exactly what is happening, but it's not good. GT's Office of International Education is looking into the situation and deciding whether or not to cancel the program.
If they do, my whole summer and school changes. I don't really know what will happen. I guess I go home and get a job and wait for Madrid to roll around. Then I add a semester in Spring 2013 and graduated in May of 2013... *sigh*
But my Jesucristo is still in control. I know He has a better plan. I don't understand. I don't know what it is. I don't know what He's trying to teach me. But I know that He is greater still.
And believing that is harder than I feel like it should be. I've watched my God work in amazing and awesome ways over the past year. I've seen Him change lives, including mine. I know that relying on His strength is all that will sustain me. My head believes it.
And yet my heart cries out for solace. My heart weeps for the joy I knew before. I believe its possible. I want it. I've had the joy, the peace, the contentment. But my dearest Lord Jesus, I can't find it now. Don't let me give up on You. Not now. Now, I need You. I need Your strength and solace. I need the belief that You are greater and better and powerful and faithful and loving and good.
My heart cries out for hope. A hope that His plan is good. Hard, yes, I think I'm ready for that. But good, Oh, my Dear Father, please. I don't even know what to ask of you in this moment. I know only that my heart cries out for You. My heart hurts and only You can heal it.
So Lord, here is my heart. Take and seal it. Seal it for Your kingdom and Your good works. Thank you so much! I truly believe that You are greater. I believe that You are better. I believe that You are almighty and faithful and loving.
I believe. In my heart, I believe.
My Mexico LBAT program is under consideration for cancellation. There's political and gang unrest in Mexico right now and things have gotten worse in the last month, I think. I'm trying to figure out exactly what is happening, but it's not good. GT's Office of International Education is looking into the situation and deciding whether or not to cancel the program.
If they do, my whole summer and school changes. I don't really know what will happen. I guess I go home and get a job and wait for Madrid to roll around. Then I add a semester in Spring 2013 and graduated in May of 2013... *sigh*
But my Jesucristo is still in control. I know He has a better plan. I don't understand. I don't know what it is. I don't know what He's trying to teach me. But I know that He is greater still.
And believing that is harder than I feel like it should be. I've watched my God work in amazing and awesome ways over the past year. I've seen Him change lives, including mine. I know that relying on His strength is all that will sustain me. My head believes it.
And yet my heart cries out for solace. My heart weeps for the joy I knew before. I believe its possible. I want it. I've had the joy, the peace, the contentment. But my dearest Lord Jesus, I can't find it now. Don't let me give up on You. Not now. Now, I need You. I need Your strength and solace. I need the belief that You are greater and better and powerful and faithful and loving and good.
My heart cries out for hope. A hope that His plan is good. Hard, yes, I think I'm ready for that. But good, Oh, my Dear Father, please. I don't even know what to ask of you in this moment. I know only that my heart cries out for You. My heart hurts and only You can heal it.
So Lord, here is my heart. Take and seal it. Seal it for Your kingdom and Your good works. Thank you so much! I truly believe that You are greater. I believe that You are better. I believe that You are almighty and faithful and loving.
I believe. In my heart, I believe.
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